You Don't Know What It's Like

To the reader: If this is your first time on my blog, many greetings; If you've been here before, happy returns to you. Everything you read here will be my genuine unfiltered thoughts and secrets, explaining in full detail everything about me, piece by piece. I wish that you read on without prejudice or judgement, for I am not a perfect person, and I hope that you can connect and empathize with my life's story. -Alex

What it's like to feel like someone surgically ripped you open with a rusty serrated knife, cutting into your abdomen and shredding up between your lungs, forcing you choke on that gasp you desperately want to take in.

What it's like to have someone completely spellbind you to their enchanting nature, only to reach into that pitch black cavity that is your chest and reach for your heart, all the while you can feel their fingers gripping and grasping within you, the ache that never stops.

And what does society know of me? The only thing anyone knows is that I'm emotionless, calculated, logical; things that I want the world to see.
No one's even bothered to look at the world inside of me.

I look around and I see faces lacking empathy, lacking the distinctive ability to notice and feel how everyone around them feels. More often I see faces that don't care how everyone around them feels.
Imaginative, but flawed within the principal concept of humanity; they think, but they do not feel.

I walked around, stumbled around, and no one even notices when you walk past them. Just another face among the throng of individuals they will see today, this week, this month, this year.
I stumbled across roads without looking both ways, part of me not realising that I had done so, another part wishing that maybe I would get hit.
It's not like the pain could get any worse.


For once, I want the world to know how I feel.
I want the world to feel my pain.