A Night With Infinity

To the reader: If this is your first time on my blog, many greetings; If you've been here before, happy returns to you. Everything you read here will be my genuine unfiltered thoughts and secrets, explaining in full detail everything about me, piece by piece. I wish that you read on without prejudice or judgement, for I am not a perfect person, and I hope that you can connect and empathize with my life's story. -Alex

It is not often that one can find friends who we can call family; a relationship with others who are not of the same skin tone, or ethnicity, or culture, or blood, yet still we overcome the differences of our origin to form a bond strong enough to last through farewells, and onward unto the next time we can meet.

I was raised alone in isolation, without friends or family, and I will always be grateful for the first "family" I was ever adopted into. Since then, I've been fortunate enough to be able to form new bonds with new friends, all of whom I genuinely love and would protect.

However, less often than finding these bonds and being able to bind to them, is the rare moment in which everything seems perfect; a brief moment where you wish nothing would change, and last night I had such a moment appear before me.

It's difficult to explain the feeling, only that I can say that I felt infinite in the moment, and that eternity could have passed and I would not have noticed. The atmosphere was vibrant with giddiness, touched with the momentary pleasure of alcohol and euphoria. I could look across the room and see my comrades, my family, sit and lay on one another, hugging and cuddling, like brothers and sisters so effortlessly bonding. I felt like a stranger, gazing into a spectral lens and seeing a group of friends so lovingly enjoying each other's company. Although I myself did not present in this canvas, painted with raw emotions, I didn't care. I was truly happy to see my family happy, and that was more than enough for me in the moment. I wish infinity would have lasted a little longer, for time is never enough.

Moments like these that I can reflect upon give me strength to go on, more so than anything else. In my quest for happiness, you are all the greatest foundation upon which I stand on, whether you know it or not. I love you all, in such quantities you all would never know. Each and every one of you are the greatest things I could have ever asked for, and I thank you all for being a part of my life, for putting up with me, for being able to tolerate my intolerable personality, and above all else, for being the greatest friends I could ask for.

I dedicate this moment and memory to all my families: WARP, The Malu-Clan, The IB'ians, Team League, House Vorosmarthy, and SPART. All of you have touched my life in significant ways that you will never be able to comprehend, and because of you I have always been able to live on. I love each and every one of you, and know that no matter how much time passes, this will always ring true. A long and fruitful life to each and every one of you.

EDIT: This is silly of me to say, but I don't think any of you will ever understand exactly how much you all mean to me. For years I've been a complete mess, and it's like most of my life has been spent hating myself, destroying myself, and blaming myself. I'm worn out from life and sometimes I wake up thinking why do I even go on, because nothing makes sense and everyone seems to radiate some form of happiness that I can never touch. As the saying goes, you should live what you love, and you all are the people I love, so what better a way to live than to indulge myself in every moment with you all? You're all stuck with me, and I hope you guys are okay with that because even if you wouldn't do the same, I'd go all in for any one of you. Thank you for being my 'o-hana'; for being family.

"Your happiness becomes my happiness, for when you are all happy, I am happy" -Ubantu