CNY15

To the reader: If this is your first time on my blog, many greetings; If you've been here before, happy returns to you. Everything you read here will be my genuine unfiltered thoughts and secrets, explaining in full detail everything about me, piece by piece. I wish that you read on without prejudice or judgement, for I am not a perfect person, and I hope that you can connect and empathize with my life's story. -Alex

Short list of things I've thought about recently.

1) I've been wanting to write a short script play that starts as a comedy sketch but ends with a supernatural twist. It would feature a very "The Nanny" styled lead male/female actors, with a 3rd side-actor acting as a Frankenstein-themed henchman. (The lead male would be named "Allen Bates", and the henchman being titled fondly as "Edgar", the joke of the show being Edgar offering all kinds of help to his master, Master Bates [cue laughter]). The plot would revolved around a new closet/dresser arriving, and Bates asks Edgar to bring it inside. The light will constantly go out, and knocking will be heard, and when the lights come on the scene has slightly changed in a comedic way every time, until the final light-out, where it's revealed that *none of the characters have been doing the knocking*. When the lights come back on, as they ask who's been knocking then, an arm will burst out of the dresser and smack/claw against the outside of the closet, resulting in he cast turning in shock/horror and screaming, before a final light out.

2) I did not get high for the first time. I did not smoke up in my car with friends on Valentine's Night as a Spartan single's get-together bond session and go on a food binge spree with alcohol. I did not observe the shisha smoke intently and notice how the smoke curls and billows and how the colour changes along with the opacity, and that it resembles clouds and low-lit flames.

3) With Valentine's just being a thing, I've spent a lot of time thinking about relationships. I've always been the one left a complete mess after things, and I still want to have that crazy in love feeling; but lately I've also had the want/need/*desire* to see someone else want to put in effort to really get my attention. I think it's a selfish thought, but I've spilled enough of my heart on the ground only to be run down. As self-centered as it is, I wish someone would bleed for me first. I want someone to show me their strengths, to show me how capable they are, *not* because I want to have someone who can do everything for me, but rather because I want someone who can function as a human being without me, but still feel enhanced by my presence. I feel like a bloody princess writing this, but god damn; I spent 7 hours working today, AFTER 2 hours of rock climbing and an hour of parkour, and that was the only feasible thought of how I want my next relationship to be like. It's so specific, but I suppose that's due to high expectations being cultivated by crushing failure.