Morning Thoughts

To the reader: If this is your first time on my blog, many greetings; If you've been here before, happy returns to you. Everything you read here will be my genuine unfiltered thoughts and secrets, explaining in full detail everything about me, piece by piece. I wish that you read on without prejudice or judgement, for I am not a perfect person, and I hope that you can connect and empathize with my life's story. -Alex

So I overslept way late, and upon waking I had a few notions in my head that I wanted to write down. Kind of in a hurry, but I'm not sure what I'm hurrying for.

1) Empathy is such a lonely friend. It's more often a curse than a blessing, because it will always cloud your moral judgment to do the right thing, as opposed to what you want do.

2) What happened to some of my music? I just noticed about 2GB worth of music is missing from my collection from bands I haven't listened to in a long time, but out of nostalgia I tried searching a few up and noticed they were gone. Must've deleted them at some point I guess.

3) Chaotic Good. That's my moral alignment, if ever I had to characterize myself; but the last few days I've felt myself trembling back towards Chaotic Neutral, a space I was trapped in for the last few years before finally allowing myself to find the balance between happiness and doing the right thing.

4) The stabbing, repetitive thought that a person who you didn't even know just days before is suddenly so important. When you're single, your life is above everyone else's. That's the luxury you can afford to get away with on the justification that you are a singular entity that no one else has the right to influence without your consent. But when you accept someone else into your life, their life is worth more than your own, because their life becomes a part of yours, even if yours does not necessarily become a part of theirs.

5) Two weeks. That's the answer. All it takes is two weeks to have your life turned upside down, to make you doubt yourself, to have a sudden revelation, an epiphany, and to rise again as a new person. Two weeks is all it takes to permanently change a life.